Looking in the mirror

There’s this funny thing that we pretty much all do at some point in our adult lives. Have you ever just stood and looked at yourself in the mirror and pointed out to yourself all of the things that you don’t like? You wish you were larger here. You want to be smaller there. This part is not shaped the way you would like. That part just makes you feel frustrated because you’ve tried to change it but it doesn’t change.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people complain about this or that part of their body that they wish would be different, and every time I look at them and think “you have so much other things going for you, who cares if one part of you isn’t perfect.” Many times what they want to be different is something that just isn’t going to change. It’s a part of who they are and what their particular body type has.

I’m pretty sure this self degradation goes back to adolescence. When a child hits adolescence they begin to have physical changes in their bodies. This awkwardness is very real, confusing and embarrassing. Their hands and feet grow first, and before the body can catch up, they can be legitimately clumsy. This is just a transitional phase, but they still experience other kids being mean and calling them names while they are going through it. Of course at the time they may not realize that the kids that are bullying are probably trying to deflect attention from their own perceived awkwardness. This is not a time of life many of us would want to relive, but for some reason we continue to berate ourselves in the same way the bullies did in middle school.

I’d be willing to bet that at least 99% of you do not walk around with disproportionately large hands and feet for your body type. And most of us won’t experience huge growth spurts over the summer. But we still find all of the things we don’t like about our bodies and allow them to bring us down. We often think we cannot be happy until we “lose 10 pounds”, “lose the pregnancy belly” or get “6 pack abs.”

The truth is that our bodies are pretty much just like they have always been. We may gain and lose weight and or muscles. Some years we are closer to our goal weight than others. Some years can just be chalked up to stress and survival. It really doesn’t matter. This is the point, so I will say it again. It really doesn’t matter.

We can be happy no matter where we are in our weight and body goals. Heavenly Father has given us each one body to work with in this lifetime. I’m sure you have seen some bodies that make you green with envy and think “why can’t I look like that.” But I can promise you that you have also seen some bodies that you would not want to have to spend a lifetime in.

Yesterday I sat with a friend whose little boy has multiple handicaps. He will never be able to see, stand by himself, speak for himself, or be independent. I looked that this sweet little spirit and thought “If I was him, I would feel really jipped. To have waited how many thousands of years to come to earth to get a body and then end up with a body that just doesn’t work.”

But not this sweet boy, he may not be able to speak for himself, but his happy sounds and sweet ever-present smile says that he is glad for what he has.

This little boy is an extreme case, but what would happen in our lives if we could all just be happy with the gift of our own body that Heavenly Father has given to us. Suppose we were all grateful for our bodies and treated them well to show our gratitude. We strived to eat a balanced diet for the long term health of our body and not because we think we need to lose weight because we are not good enough. What if we exercised regularly to stay strong and healthy so that we can enjoy all of life adventures, rather than only exercising occasionally to lose a few pounds then going back to a sedentary lifestyle. How much better would your life be, if you could see the imperfections in your body and just say “Yes, that’s what makes me unique.” There is something absolutely wonderful in everyone of us. Let’s try to spend a few minutes each day looking in the mirror and saying “I’m sure glad I have______.”

When I was younger I always wished I had blond hair and blue eyes. I didn’t appreciate the beautiful hazel eyes that God had given to me. Eventually I noticed how many people complimented my eyes, and I decided that they are my best feature. Now I can look in the mirror and say “I like my eyes and hair.” Okay honestly there are only some days when I can say that, but every day there is something good about me that I can notice, even if it is “Good job, you are breathing so well today”

Now, next time you see someone who looks great and who might have made you a little jealous before, go up to them and tell them what you see in them that made you look twice. Compliment their nice hair style, how well they dress, or how well their kids behave. It’s hard to feel bad about your shortcomings when you replace comparing with complimenting. This can be a really great chain of events to start in the world. We are all wonderful children of God. Let’s start noticing it in ourselves and in other people.